Sept 14th: Matthew 18: 21-35

The Scary World of Forgiveness
By Carrie Finch
Wewoka Presbyterian, OK, September 14, 2008

As I mentioned before the reading of the scripture, the topic for today is not one that is hard to figure out- but it is perhaps one of the hardest things to do. We spend so much time in this world wrestling with forgiveness- can we forgive, should we forgive, how do we go about this forgiveness. How do we ask for forgiveness? Are we even worthy of it? If you have wrestled with any of these thoughts and doubts, you are not alone. There are countless movies, books, television shows and songs that deal with forgiveness or, at least, reasons for why one might need it. I happened to read a couple of books this past week in my spare time, one a legal thriller called “Reversible Errors” and the other, a Christian allegory called “The Shack.” And while these two books are completely different genres, they both were about forgiveness when it was all said and done. The characters in both those stories wrestled with forgiveness of others and finding ways to forgive themselves.
Forgiveness. It’s a scary word. On the surface, it’s a beautiful sentiment, and seems so easy. To say to another “I forgive you” is one thing, however, to mean it, to really forgive someone, that’s a whole other thing. And yet, that is what Jesus is commanding us to do in the passage we just read. In some ways, it is what we are made for. We live into our baptismal covenant when we practice forgiveness. Think about it, at the very core of our beings, we, who are made in the image of God, are loved and cared for by one who gave us Jesus, the son, who died for us, so that we might be forgiven.
And this Jesus, he knows what’s coming in his life, he knows that soon he is to face the cross when he tells Peter and the others this parable. In three short chapters we will find Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a colt, with the people waving palm branches and shouting hosanna. What I am trying to say is, that this is one topic Jesus knows something about and it will do us good to take heed.
But practicing forgiveness is no easy thing. It requires an open heart and a willingness to be vulnerable to others. It requires being prepared for the possibility that you might get hurt time and time again by the one you forgive. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being vulnerable, even more so, I really don’t like getting hurt. Which leads to a lot of walls being built around and various feelings being buried beneath the surface of our hearts.
This is why it can be scary to live in a world of forgiveness. It exposes our faults and our flaws and forces us to acknowledge them in ourselves and in others. It’s much easier to gloss over pain, to brush it aside, to say things don’t matter, than it is to confront our weaknesses and our sins. It feels like it’s easier to be angry, to have righteous indignation than to let that go. Because when we enter into forgiveness, we have to look beyond all these issues and see the person as he or she truly is, a child of God- just like you and I.
Which brings us back to the passage, to this story of forgiveness. When Peter asks the question “How many times should I forgive?” and Jesus answers him, 77 times, there is a reason for that. But to understand it, we have to go back to the beginning. We have to return to Genesis, and to the story of Cain. You remember Cain, first born of Adam and Eve? Well, when Cain kills his brother Able- God curses him and therefore, Cain laments and begs for mercy, so God protects him by putting a vengeance upon his head- that anyone who kills him will suffer sevenfold what is due to Cain. And so Cain lived, and married, and bore children. Four generations later, we find his descendant, Lamech saying to his wives in Chapter 4:23-24: “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me. If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” Where Cain and Lamech were bound to vengeance, this Matthean passage serves as a reversal- not seven times or seventy-seven times of punishment, but seventy-seven times of forgiveness. As one commentator writes, “the difference between Peter’s proposal and Jesus’ pronouncement is not a matter of math or linguistics, but of the nature of forgiveness. Whoever counts [the number of times he has forgiven someone] has not [really] forgiven at all, but is only biding his or her time. The kind of forgiveness called for is beyond all calculation.”
After this pronouncement from Jesus, he then tells the parable of a slave who owes his master a debt that is too great to pay, 10,000 talents- which means, according to the notes in my Bible- to earn one talent it would take a person about 15 years to do, so 10,000 times 15, well, that’s a long time, and beyond impossible for this slave to do. It’s an exaggerated number to prove a point of how great a debt this man owed. When his master comes to collect, the slave falls down and begs for mercy, and the master forgives him this huge overwhelming amount. Then Jesus goes on to say that this same slave then seeks out another who owes him a hundred denari- or roughly, 3 months salary, a pittance of debt compared to the one he was just forgiven of- and demands that this slave pays him what he is owed. When the one cannot pay him, he too begs for mercy, and the slave shows him no mercy. He takes him by the throat, shakes him and has him thrown in prison. Vengeance. Others who are around that witness what happened, are understandably distressed and go and tell the master what happened. The slave’s master is outraged. He says to him “You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?”
As we read this story today- it’s hard to imagine someone being so preposterous as this unforgiving slave. To think, here is one who has received so much mercy and grace, and yet, he cannot show the same to another? … can you imagine it? Do you know anyone like him? As I began to really think about this slave in the story- I realized there are times when I am him.
My pastor growing up used to tell this joke from time to time, where he would say- you want to know the difference between minor and major surgery? And we would say- what’s the difference? And then he would answer- when it’s happening to you. You see, when we are the ones in need of forgiveness we seek compassion, understanding and mercy- we can even rationalize why we deserve it- and we plead to the one we wronged. However, when we are the ones who have been wronged- sometimes, we are filled with a sense of justice and righteousness that makes it hard to make room for this same compassion. Think of it like this- one day you are driving down the road- maybe you are in a hurry to get to a doctor’s appointment or pick up your kid from school- or maybe you just like to drive fast- who knows- but on this day, you get pulled by a police officer for speeding. In a tearful plea- you ask for leniency from the police officer, apologizing for your error- and the officer hears your plea and gives you only a warning- cautions you to drive at a safer speed. You say thank you and drive on… maybe a little more slower. It sure feels good to be forgiven… then say, the very next day you are driving again and there is this jerk of a guy driving behind you, riding your bumper, honking at you to drive faster- eventually he gets frustrated and zips past you. A mile or so down the road you see this same driver pulled over by a state trooper- most likely getting a ticket- and what do you feel for this person? Vindication. Justice. There is little room for compassion- after all, he wronged you in some way, and now he is getting what he deserved.
But you see, the love that Jesus teaches us is not about getting what we deserve- its about sharing in the reconciling relationship with our Savior- who did indeed die for us, so that we may be forgiven of our debts and our sins. And it is Jesus who teaches us to pray “Forgive us our debts and we forgive others…” Jesus is teaching us that forgiveness is a two- way street, that it impossible for us to seek forgiveness if we hold grudges on others in our hearts. You see, what I think Jesus wants to teach Peter, the disciples and us, is that when we love, we have to let go of this sense of righteousness because each one of us in need of grace and mercy. Each one of us will find ourselves at different times in our lives in the position of one of these two slaves from the story- where we will be in need of forgiveness and where we are the one who needs to forgive someone else. And, as we are taught to ask in the book of Romans, who is in a position to condemn? Only Christ has the power to condemn, but instead Jesus gives us grace. Christ, who has the power to forgive, not only forgives, but intercedes on our behalf through the Holy Spirit to God the Father for us.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. With forgiveness comes healing- healing within ourselves and healing with the one who has wronged. With forgiveness comes reconciliation to God and to one another. And with forgiveness, we begin to live in freedom- freedom from the weight of the grudges we carry, the scars we bear, and those feelings of ours that have been trampled on. That’s a lot of weight that we can give up. With the help of the one who taught us how to forgive, I really believe that it is something we are capable of doing. When we forgive, we are loving one another like Jesus loves us. When we forgive, we are admitting that not a single one of us is without sin, without blemish, and that we too, are in desperate need of forgiveness. To live in a world of forgiveness is scary because it means giving up so much of our armor and self-defense mechanisms, it means giving up a part of ourselves but, in this new space it gives us more room to take in a part of Christ’s forgiveness and grace- and living in Christ- well, that’s not scary at all. Amen.